Friday, February 27, 2009

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

Recently I received a letter from a distant family member, updating us on how everybody is doing. The predominant word in her letter was "job". She told us about her job and that of her husband, about her children's jobs and their respective spouses' jobs, stating that they were all reasonably happy with their jobs although they all spent a lot of time on their jobs and also complained about their jobs from time to time. Not a word about children among the newly weds of the family, and hardly anything about anything else anyone is doing. Needless to say that all of them are working outside the home, not one home maker among the lot.

So here is why I am telling you all this:
Have you ever considered that working outside the home is slavery, or at best, indentured servitude ? And for a married woman, it means that she puts herself under the authority of people other than her husband, most times under the authority of another man, their employer.

Have you ever considered that the economic activities of a diligent home maker easily equal the amout of money many women earn in their jobs outside the home ? So while many women go out to earn the money that allows them to buy convenience food that is unhealthy and doesn't taste as good as home made cooking, while they are out there earning the money to buy produce they don't grow, clothing they don't sew, and pay a handyman for all the small repairs nobody has time to do around the house, to name but a few examples, the home maker runs her house neatly and nicely like a well oiled machine and sees to it that her husband has no need of spoil, and that her family is happy and healthy, that her children are well cared for and well educated.

Now, think again, and imagine not one woman running the house, but several women running their common husband's house - can you imagine how much work you can get done without getting all stressed out ? How much food you can grow ? How many children you can raise and hoem school ? How much clothign you can sew ? How many cans of beans you can can, and pies you can bake, and bars of soap you can make, etc etc etc ... I could go on forever !

Well, I prefer this life in the multi-generational, polygynous family over the rat race so many people deliberately involve themselves in every day... What is your opinion on the matter, esteemed reader of this post ?

6 comments:

  1. I'm not a proponent of polygyny but I do have to say being a homemaker rather than working would be a nice way to be if if could be done right. I'm laid off from work right now so I'm sorta acting as homemaker for my family, but living in a city with no land and no young kids in the family doesn't work the same... so, in that situation jobs are sorta necessary. Anyway, just adding conversation and letting you know someones reading :)

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  2. Hi Trina,

    Thank you for your input, you are right of course: It does not work the same because for the last 50 years or so, the home has been emptied of meaningful work by the introduction of all kinds of conveniences. Not all of them are bad, by no means, but you really need to think nowadays, if you are home all day all of a sudden, what there is to do for you that is meaningful... I am sorry you lost your job, and hope you can turn your somewhat forced homemaker status into something productive anyway, even in the city. I will write a short post with a few suggestions here in a few moments :)

    Grace and Peace,
    Talitha

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  3. Well, as a member of a multi-generational household (I live with my son and daughter-in-law) I think that it is wonderful. I can't imagine doing so with my mother, who is a very unhappy person, but for us it is a blessing. I care for my son and daughter in law's two sons, the oldest has autism. My daughter in law works in a job that suits her social nature very much while training for a profession that will allow her to indulge her social nature and feel good about helping other people. My son is continuing his education so that he can work with computers, a passion of his. All of us are doing what suits us best and makes us happy.

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  4. Rebeckah,

    Thanks for sharing, we hope you are all doing fine.

    It's a pity though that you cannot imagine your mother joining your family, and I know what you are talking about because my late grandmother was similar and my mother struggled with it a great deal towards the end...

    See, we hold that you cannot choose family, and no matter how unhappy or ill someone is, they are members and to be taken care of within the family. That's what a big, polygynous family with many adults comes in handy for, you know. Maybe one of your sister wives, if you had any, would be perfectly happy keeping your unhappy mother company.

    No offense though, I do feel compassion for you there, and am glad to read that you are happy living like you do with your son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

    Grace and Peace,
    Talitha

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  5. Talitha,
    Should my mother need to live with one of us it would probably be my younger sister who she is closest too. Should my younger sister be unable to have her for some reason, I would certainly live with her or have her to live with me. I think nursing homes are an abomination. But my mother is one of those people who is only happy while complaining and criticizing others and I very much doubt there are ANY people out there who would enjoy living with that. Fortunately my mother is still very much independant and active so that day will hopefully not come for a long, long time. In the meantime my sister and I manage between us to get her to whatever medical appointments she needs to go to and to nag her to eat a little more. (Mom has very bad rheumatoid arthritis and the medication that helps with it suppresses her appetite. She was too skinny before she went on the stuff and now she's nearly skin and bones.) And no offense taken. I'm sure you know someone similar so you can imagine the difficulty in living with such a negative personality. ;)

    As for sister wives, I'm not married. I've been single for nearly 25 years now and I have a form of autism known as Asperger's that makes it highly unlikely that I'll ever marry again. I don't deal well with people over long periods of time. I have issues with adults touching me. I have pretty strong issues with anyone having a say over my life. None of these qualities bode well for a happy married life. But I'm perfectly happy being single and caring for my grandchildren, so please don't think this is a bad situation. Probably much of my aversion to the concept of polygyny is simply that I know I would go quietly crazy in that kind of situation and I simply can't conceive of someone else enjoying it. ;)

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  6. Rebeckah,

    I can imagine that the concept does not appeal to you, given your personal disposition. I am sure it is not for everyone anyway...

    Thanks for sharing :)

    Grace and Peace,
    Talitha

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