A Well-Oiled Machine

When people consider the large, multi generational and polygynous family, of course many wonder about how sharing the work day may look like practically speaking, with so many adults around who are all able and willing to participate in the work that needs done.

Well, I guess I already used the most important word that keeps the running of the household smooth and peaceful - participate. In a large family like this, it is unhelpful if everybody wishes to run the show, yet, it is equally unhelpful if one person has to micromanage everything that is done. So what is needed is a spirit of participation, where everybody takes responsibility for his and her particular area of work that he or she is busy with this week, this month, or this season.

If I am responsible for cooking the meals this week, for example, I will compile the week's menu, compose the grocery list with everything needed, and prepare the meals as I see fit to offer my family both healthy and tasty food. Next week, another member of the family might be responsible for the cooking and I can enjoy meals new to me, or different from how I would make them, and be inspired and nourished at the same time.

Or if I am responsible for the garden this month, it is up to me to water and prune, harvest and process whatever the garden yields this particular month. In those months in which the harvest is plentiful, we might be sharing this responsibility with two or three members, while I can very well take care of the garden by myself in the early months of the gardening season, when pulling weeds, watering and staking are the activities necessary.

You see, responsibilities may very well change, especially when it comes to those things everyone seems to like, or dislike, so that joys and burdens are shared equally. And while I am busy working away in one particular area, I can be creative and use my imagination and skills to the best of my ability and the good of all. If someone has a suggestion on how I am doing things, suggestions are welcome, of course, as is advice and help, but the responsibility is on me, and so is the ultimate decision on how I am doing things this week, this month, this season.

This does not mean that everybody does as he or she pleases and when the responsibilities change, it is difficult for another member of the family to take over, no. Of course we have a general understanding of how things are done - weeds are not to take over the garden, dishes are to be done after meals, for example - but the micromanagement is up to me in my particular area of responsibility. This way we avoid discussions or even tenseness about the small things of everyday life, and ensure that the household resembles a well-oiled machine at all times.